#FML

It's funny what age does to you. No, that doesn't sound right. It makes me feel old, literally.

Screw that! Let's try again.

It's funny how life experiences make you who you are today.

Yea, that's better. Continue.

Looking at life in retrospect, I have become my own doppelganger.

Years ago, I was so full of myself. To me, the world revolved around me. It always had to be me me me! Nothing else mattered. I hurt many people along the way, my parents, my family, those who loved and cared about me. I took them for granted, heck I took everything for granted, including my education. I purposely didn't do my revision to test if I could still make it in the exams. My whole life was a gamble and I was all about my own poker chips. And because of that, I have made the wrong choice too many times.

I know I screwed up. Big time. My past has taught me valuable life lessons, the things that I can't learn from books or in school. Yes, all that can either break me or make me a better person. The choice is in my hand.

Now, I'm learning to take responsibility for my own life. I do believe in fate, but I know I have to take charge of my life. I won't just blame fate and God for everything, it'd be too easy and not to mention, pathetic and irresponsible. Redha, and learn to accept it all, but will never blame it on fate. If I screwed up, I screwed up. So what? Be a rubber ball, bounce back a little higher every time I fall.

And that makes me my own doppelganger. Past me was just a selfish young lady who would blame others for everything. Present me is learning to take responsibility for her own life and trying to get it all figured out. Future me will read this post and reminisce all the shits that have happened in the past (and what's happening now since now is the past in the future) and probably say, wow I really really really screwed up, BIG time, seriously, but hey life is still good anyway ( :

I'm still making mistakes, and still learning from them. There are times when I just don't know what to do with my life. Sometimes I wish to have a fast forward button and just be there, to know what my future holds, because I'm just tired. But to get there, I just have to go through it all, make more mistakes, learn more, and just embrace life. That's the only way to get it all figured out.

So, what the hell, bring it on, let's do this!